Done...

 With finals, so now I'm free for about 5 weeks. I hope to be able to dedicate these few weeks off to drawing; particularly still lives and possibly drafting, and maybe a few cartoons every now and again.
Anyway, back to typing out my issues on my changing majors decision... I'm confident enough to say that I'm still confused with what I should be doing with myself. I keep thinking back and forth, whether what I decided was right or wrong, just like I do with every damn decision I ever make in my life. I think maybe the few regrets I feel about this is not having the confidence I used to have about doing animation and the thought of leaving the good friends I have made in the program. Even though I'm not actually leaving, I feel like I'm walking out on something and just quitting. Though sometimes I think of myself as the many people who try for the program and just end up getting shot down because there is something missing that they just can't grasp. Don't get me wrong, I love to draw, that's why I tried for animation and/or illustration as a major... I could state why I changed, but I may sound like someone discouraging others for trying. To the people who read this and want to try for something like animation/illustration, go for it! Through experience and learning, you'll know whether this is something you want to do with yourself as a career. Or you could end up like me... it's your life, not mine.
Honestly, when I first came into this program, I kind of hoped to become an illustrator/comic book artist. In my second year, my thoughts for career turned to animating for an animation studio. Now, strangely, it's turning to interior design (or something in architecture). Maybe I'm just too concerned about my artwork not being good enough for the entertainment business, or maybe I'm just realizing my own flaws and strengths in matters of art. Whatever the reason, this just either proves how indecisive I am, or how much a person can change over a few years in college.
Just a side note, it helps to have good friends and family who are willing to support and encourage you in your decisions. So I owe a thanks to my good friends (both A/I and regular) for being supportive enough to keep me in this far and accepting my decision (even though it's crazy...) and to my own family for always supporting and encouraging my decisions; I would never even be here if it weren't for them.
I still can't say whether I'll stick with interior design or decide to try animation again, all I can really do is take everything one step and one day at a time (that's what my dad tells me almost every time I talk to him). That's technically all we can do as humans on this planet, make the most out of each day of our lives until we die.

Decisions 2

Thanks to the people who left comments here and on facebook. I'm still going through identity issues right now, I start thinking one way and then I think another... It's just tough when you know you have very little time to decide... I did a little exploring, and I'm starting to lean more towards interior design as a major.
I know a lot of good friends have been telling me not to go and even asking why, I'm actually still not too sure myself what I should do... I just feel like my reasons for going through the animation program was all wrong... Like many students, I just really enjoyed drawing cartoons and thought this would be a wonderland job (which of course is not). Through my experience, I've learned that drawing well was not something professors could teach you, it's something you must teach yourself and it's something you must dedicate to if you wish to be a professional. It takes a lot of passion and confidence (along with selfishness) in order to go through such a tough program like animation, which is something I'm beginning to lose...
From what I've heard from interior design, it has a balance of art and the idea of constructing something for real life; there's also a little understanding of spacing, lighting, and a passion for building things. Personally, I think that's something I want to do as a career, a little balance with what I enjoy doing (plus I took an architecture class in high school to give me little understanding about drafting). I still like animation, heck, maybe I'll decide by the end of spring that I want to switch back. Though right now I want to at least try this out, and possibly keep animation/illustration as something to do for fun.
Anyway, to all the A/I friends I have gotten to know, I just want to let you know that you've all been great friends, in fact you're all like a second family to me. I think it's really the sad thought of leaving you all is what has been making it hard for me to decide... I will still technically be in the art and design program, so I hope that we can stay in touch. And you never know, if I can pull through this new major, maybe I'll be able to design an animation studio and get to see some of you (that's kind of a dream goal right now).

Decisions

Okay, I know I haven't posted in a while... the truth is I'm starting to have doubts about my drawing skills. I've been trying and trying to get better at figure drawing, but I just don't see anything (in fact I think I'm getting worse). Maybe it's just the overloading work load I'm having, or something, whatever it is it's making me rethink about trying for Animation as a career.
I used to enjoy drawing, at least the last few semesters when I could draw for fun, but now that it's coming down to the big leagues, I'm just not so sure anymore. The hardest thing about all this is that I've managed to improve to the point where I can impress non-art people (friends and family), but I'm not at the professional level I should be... plus I'm afraid of leaving and/or having second thoughts about actually changing.
Honestly, I know I shouldn't be the one complaining about this, since there are upper classmen who are dealing with more hell than I could imagine (then again they choose to). I guess I'm just worried about actually getting in the program (not that I can at the moment) and then having regrets.
I'm still thinking about it, I have been thinking about doing something in architecture if I decide to change... but of course I'm still undecided. I still want to draw and grow (that's the whole reason I made this blog), just maybe in a way that it can be used a stress reliever rather than something to stress over.
If anyone has any say about this, feel free to comment or anything.

Fall Drawing Day #59, #60, #61, & #62

Another busy week, been a bit preoccupied with a bunch of other assignments and such to keep me from drawing on my own...
Monday I ended up with three animation projects to work on, which kept me from going to figure drawing that day...
Tuesday was my catch up day, I had work on 3D animation projects along with studying for the art history exam the next day. In between, I worked in my anatomy book (which seems to sadly be the only thing I have time to draw on my own), this is a copy of a master with anatomy done over it with Netter's Anatomy as reference:

Wednesday I had my exam and animation critique, I only did a few gesture tracings.... though those can only take me so far.
Today I got to meet up with some friends to practice gesture drawing for a bit, though I'm really not happy with any of my gestures. The rest of the day I started working on my art history term essay, along with a little 3D animation work. My dad stopped by in the evening, so we had dinner together and walked for a bit.
I know I've said this thousands of times, but I'm still questioning my choices in whether I want to do this as a career or not... I know no matter what I choose, I'm going to facing lots of stress and anxiety, so why am I even questioning this?

Fall Drawing #56, #57, & #58

Still working on my figure drawing, right now I'm trying to master gesture...

I'm also working weight and balance, which I know is probably off on a lot of figures...

Friday was another rough day in Anatomy class, basically for everyone, including the professor. It's times like these I question why I'm trying for this; I even thought about changing to another major. But after some thinking and talking to some friends and family, I figured this is just a phase everyone goes through, no matter what major or career one chooses, and I'm just going to have to deal with it... Even if I don't make it, at least I can say I gained good experience from it as an artist. 

Saturday I had to do studying for another art history exam Wednesday (which can sadly be time-consuming). I also did gesture traces, I hope to put more action into my figures. Other than that, I went to one of my friend's birthday party (probably a bad idea, but a good way to catch a little break).

Today was more studying, along with a leg anatomy study; this I did copying a figure from my textbook and using Netter's anatomy cards to understand the leg muscles:

I used colored pencil on the muscle to make it fancy, though I'm still unsure if the proportions are correct. Later I went to do a drapery study (I usually do it with other art students, but today it was just me):

I kind of like how the left side turned out, I really tried to work in contrast. I'm not too sure about the right side, I had some hard times with shading due to the poor lighting work I did with the drapery. 

This week I hope to get more of a positive attitude and just draw for fun, which may hopefully bring a little more confidence in my work. 

Fall Drawing Day #51, #52 & #53

First off, I'd like to thank all the people who left critiques and advice for my last blog, I found it really helpful in matters of figure drawing. Still, I question whether I have what it takes to make it to the big leagues... Maybe it's just because of a portfolio review requirement for the A/I program at my university; some say it is not as bad as one may think, but there seems to be something that the professors are looking for in a students work that many fear they are missing.
I still remember one of my professors telling me not to give up my dream, yet I wonder: what is my dream? I think the main reason I wanted to go into illustration/animation was because I wanted to do a job that involved something I enjoyed doing, though I did had a slight idea that it was going to be a tough career path to take. Honestly I've thought many times whether I should try for something else or not.... but the one thing that's keeping me here are my A/I friends. If it weren't for them, making me and everyone around feeling like a big happy family, I probably would not still be around. So I owe a big thanks to everyone in the A/I for keeping me here. Even if I don't make it, I won't give up, at least without a fight.
Anyway, enough of my boring speech. Sunday, I had to work a little on my animation, along with some gesture tracing. I did get to do a drapery study, which I spent around 3 hours on:

I'm still working on gradation and value, though I still find it hard to make things "click."
Afterwards, I worked a little in my anatomy book, I worked on the back, this is a copy from my textbook:

I kind of like the turn out, though that's just me...
Monday was my busy day, I did go to figure drawing and asked for critiques here and there. I got a couple of helpful advice, so I hope to apply to my future figure drawings, if I can take it all in and whatnot.
Today I bought some anatomy flash cards, Netter's Anatomy (much cheaper than the actual book). I had to work a little with my 3D animation, but I did get a chance to draw out the skull, both front and lateral view:

 These were done in colored pencil, I tried adding a little value to match the cards a bit. Sometime, I hope to take some of my figure drawings and apply some anatomy to it, using anatomy cards as reference. First, however, I have to master the fundamentals... this I find ironic (how I still need to work on animating the human figure when I'm working on anatomy).

Fall Drawing Day #46, #49, & #50

I haven't really been feeling too good about my drawing skills, which is bad because when one thinks he/she can't draw, they literally can't....
I kind of need some feedback and critique for my figure drawings, so here's some I did Monday and Friday:

I know they're incomplete, with bad anatomy and construction, along with poor line quality, but I need to know what I should do to fix them... so I can improve the future figure drawings I plan to do.
This whole week has been kind of busy for me, so I didn't get too many chances to draw on my own... Thursday I got a chance to work a little in my anatomy book, though I'm not really too sure about it now...

Today I had to go to an art museum to study some works of art for my Art History class... which took quite a bit of time getting there and back... Plus my family came over to visit, so I got some chances to practice drawing out human figures from life, though I really don't like the turn out...
For next couple of days, depending on school work and what not, I plan to practice drawing out the human figure, with some little hope of improvement...

Fall Drawing Day #43, #44, & #45

Have you ever stopped for a moment and wondered why you do some certain things (hobbies, jobs, careers, etc)? I'm kind of in that position, again... I still question whether I want to continue drawing in matters of rendering and, hopefully, cartooning... Sometimes I wonder what I would do, if someone told me to just give this all up. It's actually quite heart breaking (for one to give up a passion or possible dream).
Friday I had my anatomy class of course, but it was a pretty rough day for me, so I didn't get in any good figure drawing... After class, the club had a movie night, we saw an animation screening from the club members, and an old black and white movie called Ball of Fire (a really good, funny movie, I recommend seeing it).
Saturday, I had volunteer work for Left Coast Live, mostly just arranging the signs and products for the attendees and band members. I had to work for only four hours, after that I had to go back and practice more figure drawing. Right now I plan to try to improve my human gestures and faces, so that will be what I'll try to focus on for now....
Today was a little more easy, I still spent quite a bit of tracing paper tracing over gestures and people. Since we were learning arms in anatomy, I did an arm drawing from Bammes' Artist's Guide to Human Anatomy:

Not really the best... though it kind of helped me get a good idea of the structure. I also did a skeletal drawing of an arm, but I do not really like the turn out.. 

The rest of the day I had to work a bit on my 3D animation project, but I did get a chance to do a drapery study:

It's not really finished yet, I plan to add in a few more shadows in a few areas. I kind of like the gesture established, though I'd like to add better values and contrast (our professor mentioned a bit about adding contrast to our drawings to help stand out).

I hope to come back sometime soon with some better stuff, hopefully something on faces and gestures (that's what I'm now striving for), though I still can't say with my busy schedule at the moment... have a good night and good week everyone.

Fall Drawing Day #35 through #42

It has felt like forever since I last updated... I can barely remember what happened the past couple of days, or even what I was stressing out about....
Thursday was my fun day, unfortunately I didn't do any drawings... I got to bake banana bread for fun and hung out with some friends. We played some games together and ended up seeing Brides Maids, a really funny, over the top movie, maybe one of the best chick flicks I've seen.
Friday I had my anatomy class, there we were learning the front torso, and a lot of animation techniques. Out of the few figure drawings I got to do, I found this one to be the best:

I'm pretty sure this was done in twenty minutes, I really like how the posture turned out, still not too sure about the anatomy...
Saturday was my school work and study day, I did go out and draw a few people, but none of them turned out too good. Plus I mostly just did torso tracing, to get a better idea of how to draw out the torso in matters of anatomy.
Sunday was a disaster... Sometime around 12:30, the fire alarm in my apartment went off, while I was drawing in my anatomy book, I just left thinking I'd be back in a few minutes, which ended up being six hours. What some say happened was that one of the residents on the 12th floor hung up his clothes on one of the sprinklers, which broke the pipe or something... causing a massive flooding all the way down to the ground floor (thankfully my room wasn't affected). I was with two of my suite-mates at the time, thinking we would be out all day, we went to my roommate's house to settle and study a bit. All I had then was my personal belongings and my sketchbook, so it was actually a good opportunity to practice visual drawing. I tried drawing my hand a few times, out the few, I think this turned out okay:

 The fingers still seem pretty off to me, hands are still a tough thing for me...
When we were finally allowed back into our apartment, I worked a bit more in my anatomy book, and ended up with this (this is a copy from Hale's Drawing Lessons from the Great Masters):

I personally like the turn out, when I get the chance, I might add in the leg muscles, and maybe work in a few more details.
Monday was my busy day of course, but I ended up getting really dizzy and sick after my last class... so I didn't do any figure drawing... I think it was probably due to stress and possibly exhaustion.
Tuesday was a little easier for me, but I had to spend the whole day working on my computer animation along with studying for an art history exam (maybe it's just me, but it's been getting harder and harder to find the time to settle and just draw).
Wednesday was another busy day, had quite a few things due for each of my classes, but got quite a bit of work off my chest.
Today was another easier day, though a little wet due to rain. However, instead of drawing, I did some research and studying for one of my GE classes. Later that day, I got to do some figure drawing after a club meeting. Tonight did not really seem like my night... but I think this one turned out okay:

This was done in twenty minutes (I seem to have issues in drawing figures a small amount of time).
That's pretty much it for now, sadly... I still have some other work to do this weekend, but I hope to get back into drawing daily again... however in times like these I can't really say...

Fall Drawing Day #32, #33, & #34

I've been stressing out a bit for the past few days... sometimes to the point where I wonder why I'm even doing all this... Yet, somehow, I still keep trying, because there is some satisfaction in the long run. I can't say if I'm becoming a good artist or anything, but I do think that I'm slowly getting better, bit by bit.
Anyway, Monday's are known as my busiest days of the week this semester. After classes, I attend figure drawing for about an hour. I'm not too please with the figure drawing I did, though this one seemed okay, this was done in twenty minutes:

For Tuesday, I had to work on a few things for other classes, though I put aside some things to do a perspective study:

I'm not sure if it turned out too good, I need to work a little on line quality. I do kind of like how some of it appears three-dimensional, but it could still use some work. I also got a chance to add neck anatomy to my anatomy book, this is a copy from Bammes' Artist's Guide to Human Anatomy:

I kind of like the turn out, may need to work on the shading for the muscles and such...
Yesterday and today, I worked a bit on my temple drawing (which I mentioned Sunday), it's not really finished yet, I'm still adding in a few more details:

I'm still not too sure about the turn out... the roof was quite a handful. I may try redoing it, though I'm already going to have a busy weekend, so I can't really say... So if I don't update sometime within the next five days, you'll know why....

Fall Drawing Day #29, #30, & #31

Okay, a little overview:
Friday, I had my figure drawing/anatomy class, learned a bit about neck anatomy and animation. I did do some figure drawing, but they're not really complete... I might try drawing in the complete details sometime if I get the chance.
Saturday, I volunteered to pick apples at an orchard for a honors society I'm a part of, it was actually really fun, plus I got a lot of apples to take home. Afterwards, we went out to get Indian food for lunch, on the club. Later on, I ended up making an apple cake from the apples I brought back. Here's a picture:

 Don't know why the picture is rotated... it turned out pretty good.
Much later, I final got a chance to my rendering, an egg rendering, this was done in graphite:

I personally think it turned out okay, might need to improve a few areas. Sometime soon, I hope to do a paint rendering of this.
For today, I went to a Buddhist temple to try to draw it out. It's not really complete yet, but I took a photo and plan to add in the extra tiny details, hopefully soon. For the rest of the day, I had to work on my animation project, and got in another drapery study:

I tried applying more straights to make it more realistic, though it could probably use a little more contrast in value (value is another thing I hope to work on).
That's pretty much it, sadly... Despite all the busy work and whatnot, I hope to get more chances to draw for you all to see.

Fall Drawing Day #27 & #28

Been a bit busy this week, as usual... been hard keeping track on what should done and whatnot. Monday was my busy day; classes and figure drawing, along with studying for a test the next day. Tuesday, I spent the day with my dad, and the rest of the night working on a computer animation.
For Wednesday, I got a chance in the evening to work a little in my anatomy book, and did the back muscles of the torso:

For today, I had to work a little for one my computer animation and things for my other classes, but I managed to put off sometime to go to figure drawing. This time, I managed to work in a few drawings that I think are a personal best for a long time....

These were each done in ten minutes, I like the top one in matters of completeness (though I may need to look into legs and feet, along with hands), the second I mostly just like the gesture and weight. Somehow, I think I'm getting better at drawing out the torso, or at least with the model we had tonight.

This one was done in twenty minutes, this was more tricky since the model was laying down. I didn't have enough space for the feet, but I still kind of like how the structure turned out. Personally, I think I'm getting a little in matters of proportions, it's just in a matter of getting in the overall structure of the human figure.
Afterwards, I added in another torso drawing for my anatomy book, the rib cage and pelvis; this is a copy from Hale's Drawing Lessons from the Great Masters:

I like how the rib cage turned out, though I may try to go back to this to make it better... I can't really say if I'll get anything in for this weekend, since I have some plans and school work to get done, but I plan to play things by ear and see where it goes.

Fall Drawing Day #22, #23, & #24

Been trying to do a little bit of everything this weekend, but like always, things never go according to plan...
Friday, I think spent most of my time walking and grocery shopping, I did get in a few gestures and perspectives... though this was probably the best I manage to do all day:

Might need to get back to the basics on perspective again... along with figure drawing (record shows that figure drawing is NOT my skill).
Saturday I spent most of my time outside again... but got less time to draw (due to fast transportation). I got to work a little in my anatomy book though:

This is mainly to get an idea of the muscles in the front torso.
For today, I had to spend most the day studying for one of general education classes, but got in another torso study, this was done from Bammes' Artist's Guide to Human Anatomy:

I also got another chance at drapery with some of my friends, which I personally think turned out a lot better than the last one I did:

I think this is due to greater contrast in light and shadow. A few areas do seem a little off to me, but I still like the turn out compared to the last two done.
For this week, if I get the time, I hope to do a rendering drawing, and possibly some more figure and anatomy drawings. I'll get back to all on that...

Fall Drawing Day #20 & #21

Finally done with a big exam, that took up a lot of my time... I managed to get a few drawings, though I think I have a lot of catching up to do... The down side of having classes non-art related is that they can be a HUGE distraction in matters drawing consistently...
Anyway, here's junk art I did yesterday and today:

I call it junk art, because they're just practices... Yesterday I got to work a little in my anatomy book, and moved on to working on the torso. This is a copy from Bammes' Artist's guide to Human Anatomy:

And just today, I decided to do a redo of the drapery drawing, which turned out like this:

Not sure if the lighting turned out good... hopefully I'll get another chance to work on it... I have a little more free time this weekend, so I hope to get a couple more drawings in, and maybe some that will be a little more worthwhile.

Fall Drawing Day #16 & #17

Haven't really done too much for the past few days... again.
Yesterday, a special friend of mine came by to visit SJ, so we got to hang out and do some catching up. I did do a couple of figure traces, though I don't plan to show them, since they're just practices.
Today, I've been mostly studying for one of my exams, I did manage to get in a perspective drawing:

I'm glad to finally get in a whole building to make it more 3-dimensional, a few things seem to be off, though I do like the turn out. I also did another drapery drawing, though I really didn't like how that turned out. I hope to do another one on my own sometime this week... along with a bunch more figure drawings with some hope a few will turn out okay...

Fall Drawing Day #14 & #15

Not much to post at the moment, so I'm going to make this short and sweet for you all.
Here's something I did yesterday in the afternoon after finishing up some research for a class, a perspective study:

I didn't manage to get the whole image due to spacing and what not... I think I made the building a bit crooked, so I'm not really pleased with the turn out...
For today, I had a figure drawing class, followed by a movie screening of short animated films (which were a good selection to watch). I got some criticism/suggestions some one of my classmates, and managed to work in with one of my figure drawings, this was done in 20 minutes:

 Not the best figure drawing, but I personally find it as a great improvement from my earlier figure drawings. I hope to apply this more to my other figure drawings and be able to improve more.

Fall Drawing Day #11 & #12

Another day, another blog...

Yesterday I spent a lot of time going out and about... here some things I that I did before meeting a friend for lunch:

I didn't really spend too much time on the fountain, so I can't really say if it is any better... I just added in the water... The shaped statue was a little tricky, it was mostly just to get the hang of making some shapes appear 3D

I also did some figure drawing outside, here's one of which I kind of like:

I know it's incomplete... I just like how the gesture turned out, looks like an actual lazy person.

And later I tried drawing the human skull from my textbooks along with the muscles on the face:

This was just to get an idea of how the muscles attach to the skull, and we're also suppose to know the muscles of the human body.

After class today, I tried going out and drawing out more people... don't know if I'll ever be please with my figure drawing... ever...

Eventually I got to drawing out another skull for my anatomy book:

This was from Bammes' The Artist's Guide to Human Anatomy, a simple skull with planes and shading. Just a way to get an idea of planes and shadow.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day... but I'll still try to get something in if possible. Somehow, having a blog like this is like having due dates for projects, it inspires one to work on what he/she needs to. At least that's what I think of this blogging at the moment, even though it's just "senseless barking."

Fall Drawing Day #9 & #10

It's been one thing after another in matters of school work... there is still one more day off before another week of classes.
Anyway, yesterday I've been going about doing grocery shopping and a bunch of other things requiring public transportation. I did get a chance to draw out quite a bit of people in between, though I'm still not really happy with my current figure drawing style... Maybe once I get in the whole figure I may try to post...
For today, I got to quite a bit of stuff... This morning I got to do a perspective study, which I haven't done for quite some time:

And later today I got together with some friends and we did a drapery study:

This was done in graphite... I kind of like the turn out, though I do wish to improve in a few areas...
Afterwards, I decided to draw out some skulls just study a little anatomy, both of these are copies from Hale's Drawing Lessons from the Great Masters:

I might go back and fix up a few things with these...
This semester I plan to try to improve my figure drawing, though words can only do so much at this point... So be on the look out for possible figures and perspective studies.