I think I'm going through a mid-life crisis, along with a bunch of distractions... I'm just really concerned about my consistency in drawing and just about everything else happening around me. I keep questioning myself whether this is something I really want to do with my life, and if it is, can I really make it to the pros? Right now I feel like I'm falling on my own two feet, and I can't get myself up. There's so much that I want to do, but I'm too afraid to try... I'm afraid to see myself fail, like with everything else.
Today I tried job hunting for a summer job, even though it seems hopeless and pointless now. My parents told me that it is important to go through things like this, to just try even though there's a huge possibility of failure. It made me think of a comic joke from Dilbert "What's the point in succeeding if it feels good to fail?" (or something like that). Even so, I think the main point of all this is to just try. Whatever you do, give it your all, and if you fall, get up and keep trying. So, that's something I'm going to try to apply with my drawing now. Just like my job hunting, even though there's a chance it won't turn out good, I'll do it anyway... Because this is probably the only few chances I'll get where I won't be graded down for failure.
Anyway, moving along. Here's a perspective drawing I did yesterday:
Not my best of course, need to get back to cubes and everything.
And here's the only thing I drew all day, a parking meter:
Today was my mom's birthday, so I had to find present for her last minute (because she already has everything one can possibly think for a present), and I ended up going on a stream for a few hours which was a bit of a distraction...
I was hoping to get into more character designs today, so that may be something to look forward to tomorrow. And I know this is off topic, but writing this blog keeps reminding me of Julie Powell from Julie & Julia, all the stress and pressure she had to go through and express over "pointless barking," AKA blogging.
The reason you are falling down is because you have the courage to run head long at challenges. If we only did what was easy to us we would never learn to do what is hard. Keep you chin up, have faith in yourself, and grow with every success and failure.
ReplyDeleteFailure isn't falling down, its refusing to get back up.